I have a confession to make: well, maybe less a confession and more a statement, depends who's reading. I considered myself pro-choice until I had a baby.
I don't know what changed, really. My politics (moderate to liberal, depending on the issue) didn't especially. Although I believe in the separation of church and state, I also believe that as citizens, our religious beliefs or lack thereof have a fundamental influence on our personal and societal values, and these values have a lot to do with the Constitution, particularly with amending it. Being religious, I have always believed that "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" (D&C 18:10) while I have also believed that men and women "are free to choose" and accept the consequences of all of their choices (2 Nephi 2:27). Who am I as a perfect stranger to make the choice for another woman just because I vote and pay taxes? Then again, by not speaking out against abortion, am I indirectly supporting it as a practice?
Even conception, pregnancy, and birth did not give me any kind of epiphany. It took actually a few months of taking care of my baby before I started thinking more seriously about what "pro-choice" and "pro-life" really mean and which flag, if either, I wanted to wave over my head. What kind of choices are we talking about? Lots of choices are involved in pregnancy and birth, the very first (and arguably most important) of which is the choice to have sex. Then again, if I decide to be "pro-choice," it doesn't make me "pro-abortion." It also doesn't make me "anti-life," just as "pro-life" doesn't especially make me "anti-choice." But isn't that splitting hairs? Do I need to take a moral stance, as a religious woman, a mother, and a feminist about the sanctity of life versus the sanctity of human rights? Am I weak if I don't? I believe in both, so how can they be reconciled? How did raising a baby raise all these doubts and questions too?
Let's make this a list of questions.
- What does (or should) experiencing pregnancy or motherhood have to do with whether a woman is pro-choice or pro-life?
- Does someone who has not experienced pregnancy or motherhood have the right to insist on legality or illegality of abortion for others? What if they most likely will either experience motherhood or choose to abstain from it?
- What about prospective adoptive parents?
- What about men, who never will have that opportunity?
- Does fatherhood count?
- Does experience with, love for, or belief in the importance of families (to society and fundamentally) count?
- How are "pro-choice" and "pro-life" diametrically opposed? How are they similar?
- Can you be pro-choice and pro-life at the same time?
- As a political stance, is either choosing choice over life or remaining neutral tantamount to supporting abortion as a practice?
- When does life begin: when the baby breathes on his own? When you can feel the baby move inside you? When you can hear his heartbeat through a stethoscope? When you can see his heartbeat on an ultrasound? When sperm and egg join together? When you decide you want a baby? When, regardless of desire for a baby, a woman is about to ovulate and, being at her most fertile, is physically helped along in the choice to have sex (still, obviously, very much her very own choice)?
- Might education on fertility, menstrual cycles, abstinence, birth control, adoption help prevent abortion, whether indirectly by preventing unwanted pregnancies or directly by preventing abortions? How, specifically? What about availability of hormonal contraceptives? What about access to prenatal care and education for women and girls facing 9 months of an abusive or otherwise unsupportive environment?
- Might tighter restrictions on abortion help prevent abortion? What about illegality of abortion?
- What effect do either of these approaches have on constitutional rights?
- How important is the abortion issue to you as a voter, compared to other issues such as the economy, the war, immigration?
As a final note, I don't think many people will read this but if you do, please, refrain from name-calling or finger-pointing (or at least be subtle about it) and try to think about your own answers to the questions, regardless of your overall stance, if you decide to comment! Thank you! I am very interested in hearing from both sides as well as from fence-sitters.
9 comments:
I don't think I ever even thought about pro-choice or pro-life in terms of myself.
But as I grow older, I am concerned at those who procreate who really have no business procreating. I have come across women who have 8 and even 12 children - by 8 and 12 different fathers!
These children are not well-adjusted. They are at risk for so many problems. They are truly a drain on the limited resources in our society.
And then they perpetuate the cycle.
But in my heart of hearts, I know that I can't really say, "Yes, let the government prevent them from having any more children."
And this doesn't have a lot to do with abortion. Or maybe it does in the sense that there are those who say, "Well, let's encourage them to have abortions instead of all those children."
And after working with these children and their families, I'm not convinced that we do not have a program in place that would educate them about all the other options there are in life besides having child after child that no one really seems to want to claim after if quits being a cute little baby.
(And let it be noted that 8 or 12 kids by one set of parents who love each other and their children is quite okay with me. Maybe not okay with the rest of society, but okay with me.)
What needs to happen is for these women, many of whom are under-educated and not full of a sense of their own self-worth, to find other ways to assert their value.
I believe they keep having children - and the lovers who father them - because they think, "This is it, this will be the right one, this will be the right combination."
This is a long post, and I hope I'm not finger-pointing, but I hope you follow my drift.
Procreating - and all it entails - is so much more complex than a label like "pro-choice" or "pro-life."
We are kidding ourselves if we think otherwise.
Thanks for your comment, Babs. Nice to know one person is reading!
By finger-pointing/name-calling I meant at each other or me. So your thoughts don't count as that.
I agree that procreating--those who should and those who maybe shouldn't, who am I to decide but you know what I mean--is more complex than "pro-choice" and "pro-life." But is abortion?
I have often wondered what I would do if told that I needed to abort to save my life.
Would it be fair to leave other children motherless to save one child?
It would certainly be a wrenching decision either way, but I think I would want to live.
But then again, I have always thought that I would do anything my children needed too.
So I guess I'm saying that abortion is very complex - it is almost like "playing God" in some respects.
But in other ways, it is not unlike the kinds of choices we make all our lives about our bodies.
i am so glad you let me know about your alterna-blog.
hmmm- so much to share, but so little time (kids are getting ready for bed).
i believe the church has it right. the right to choose is vital if your choice to become pregnant was taken away (rape, incest) and if the life of the mother is in danger. I appreciate how the church truly leaves that decision up to you in those circumstances.
I like that they don't say, if you are raped, have an abortion. It's if you are raped, evaluate the situation, be prayerful and wise.
As far as people who shouldn't have children. That one is dicey - and personal rights are at stake. One thing that I think would help is for the government to be more pro- adoption and make the waiting period shorter. I think a birth mother should have at the most a week to change her mind. It was SUCH an eye opening experience when we were foster parents for Angus. I was amazed at the number of phone calls we got from people who wanted to adopt him.
Another way off base option is privatized social securities based on if you have children and raise them well (kids will pay for parents social security). That way stay at home moms will get the recognition they deserve for raising good kids and having them contribute to society. And those who don't, won't.
I'm sure I'll think of more, but I must run now.
B-Brae and Babs, both of your points are strong arguments for keeping abortion legal. I have to agree. I think making it illegal across the board is treating it like a black-and-white problem.
I'm interested in the legal/constitutional issues that would come up if state/federal courts treated killing a fetus like killing a person who isn't living inside anyone. So if abortion was made equal to murder in the eyes of the law, then that would mean killing the child to save the mother would be like self-defense. It sounds simple (at least it makes sense to me) but I wonder how many resources would go down the drain to legally determine each and every case where the parents wanted to abort.
I would also like to hear realistic options for promoting adoption in cases where the parents don't want to or can't raise the child. It drives me crazy when people say liberals are "pro-abortion," or in so many words. The Democrat line that abortion should be "safe, legal, and rare" actually does sound good to me but I just haven't ever heard a plan for that that will satisfy everyone. I guess it just has to satisfy the majority of voters anyway.
also interesting thoughts about social securities for SAHMs
This is a thought provoking post. You make some good points. I also agree with your mom's first comment.
I think that I will always be pro-choice and I think that abortion should always be legal because there are people out there who need it to be. Do I think that abortions happen too frequently? Yes. I think that if the government is going to be involved in the legality of abortion then they also need to do something to make it less common. I like Bonny's idea of making adoption an easier process. I also think that educating women in these areas is important.
The older I get the more value I can see in a human life. I can't even imagine having an abortion but I can imagine being put in a situation where I may need/want to have that option.
It's a complicated issue and my thoughts on it are always changing. I imagine they will change drastically when I have a child. But I think I will always believe that women have to have a right to their bodies.
Holy cow! How do you do it? It has to be a gene you got from your mother.
I can't keep my one blog going most of the time and you have 2 more that I just found.
This is a profound topic and one that is always somewhere on the burners especially during an election year and when judges are being vetted.
As I see that I am the only male to be commenting thus far, I will not rush in where angels fear to tread.
I would say that I tend to agree with B.B. and stand where the church stands.
As to the legality of the law, my attorney cousin(and she leans way to the left of me most most of the time) says that Roe v Wade and the majority opinion that makes it law is the worst written and most poorly supported court opinion that she has ever read in her life.
(I would be interested to know what Matt thinks of it)
I think that the part that bothers me the most, legal or otherwise is the fact that the government funds many abortions with my tax dollars. That part they force me to play I am against.
Hi Eliza - I'm a friend of Phoebe's, My thoughts: Abortion is not about the fetus. It does not matter too much to me about when the quickeining is. I don't think God punishes the unborn child when a mother makes that choice. Undoubtedly the church and/or HF takes abortion very seriously because of the implications it has for the mother's soul. Just think about how anxious we are about our own child's arrival. How we lie awake at night counting our fingers until they arrive. How we hope they come out with 5 fingers and 5 toes. Similarly, years later a would be mom looks at her hands and wonders if the unborn child she aborted would have had her abnormally short pinky too or her curly hair or would have been her best friend. Regret can canker the soul. Abortion stops women from "meeting the measure of their creation" and that doesn't mean that women are made to be baby makers it just means that the greatest happiness is found in and through the giving and rearing of life. There are situations where an abortion may be necessary - only God and the mother/father will know. So I guess I'm pro living, pro loving and probably pro life. Great post. I have no legal knowledge and cannot speak to that. And certainly the hearts of (wo)men have waxed cold if they can't love their own child unborn or not.
I probably will make my own blog private too and have a fun blog I'm more careful with. Thanks for the "Alterna-blog" example.
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